and the music keeps on playing on and on.
red alert.
and it is.
job applications. actually, just the one. not easy.
seems like i've spent 2 whole days trying to complete 5 pages of self-indulgent nonsense in which i try to convince some punter that i'm his man. the man that can do the job he wants me to. i know i can do but it's the convincing that is the hard part. i might be so bold as to say that i'm not really a self-publicist haha. i'm not really comfortable shouting from the roof tops that i am a truly exceptional person, teacher whatever even though, at times i do think i am. those moments are not that common. self confidence. lacking. fill in the missing words yourself.
perhaps that's why i read books and study. the books don't judge.
anyway...what's the word on the street?
not really sure. coping but i defintely drift back to Cheonan. times when i crave for some tuna kimbab, kimchi, chicken from the chicken restaurant and kamja-tang. although not sure how i would eat them since i haven't picked up chop-sticks in anger since that fateful monday. and this week is the university festival. 3 days of drinking and no class or just not bothering about students or teaching. think last year i went to everland instead - korea's disneyland. i hate the phrase but i'll use it anyway - happy days.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
Oceans
It's all getting abit too much. My brain can't quite take it all in. Starting Uni. and living here. Overload.
Uni. hasn't even started and it's stressful but I think that is because it's a superunknown. Full of if and buts that are not going to be answered until much later in the year, perhaps not until next year. I do like some variables but I have too many to be comfortable about. All that can be done is get the head down and makes sure that the variables are minimised as much as possible. Example=not doing well enough in the assessments=not proceeding to the Dissertation.
Example=choosing of classes to attend=too hard, then see number 1.
And another bundle of them.
Instead, I should just concentrate on getting that aspect of thing organised. Doing ehat I have to do - namely reading and studying and planning. After all, there are people in my class that have been accepted to the likes of Cambridge Uni. fully funded but have chosen to come to Edinburgh. Just shows the quality of the students. Asking myself 'what the hell am I doing here?' They wouldn't have let me in if they didn't think I could do it. Time to prove that.
Alas, the gym has been joined also and that'll be me for the year. Class, library, gym...perhaps in that order.
Oh yeah, living here. Yesterday reminded me exactly why I dislike Scotland. Rain. Dark and miserable. All day.
Uni. hasn't even started and it's stressful but I think that is because it's a superunknown. Full of if and buts that are not going to be answered until much later in the year, perhaps not until next year. I do like some variables but I have too many to be comfortable about. All that can be done is get the head down and makes sure that the variables are minimised as much as possible. Example=not doing well enough in the assessments=not proceeding to the Dissertation.
Example=choosing of classes to attend=too hard, then see number 1.
And another bundle of them.
Instead, I should just concentrate on getting that aspect of thing organised. Doing ehat I have to do - namely reading and studying and planning. After all, there are people in my class that have been accepted to the likes of Cambridge Uni. fully funded but have chosen to come to Edinburgh. Just shows the quality of the students. Asking myself 'what the hell am I doing here?' They wouldn't have let me in if they didn't think I could do it. Time to prove that.
Alas, the gym has been joined also and that'll be me for the year. Class, library, gym...perhaps in that order.
Oh yeah, living here. Yesterday reminded me exactly why I dislike Scotland. Rain. Dark and miserable. All day.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
minimum
Officially a student. Not an UG but a PG. I guess that means that I'm expected to know what to expect and that I have to work harder.
It seems as if there are about 30 people in the class, split between 2 different M.Sc Courses with perhaps 25 of those doing the Education course whilst the rest of us doing the Research by Education course.
Of those 30, there are only 4 of us are male and only one of them Scottish -yours truly-. The rest are women, clearly. And mostly International students and of top of that, mostly Chinese. Think the Uni. must be making quite alot of money from this group.
Today represented orientation. Meeting and greeting and info regarding the Course. The highlights being the 6 Units to be taken over 2 semesters which will conclude with 6x4000 word Essays and a final 15.000 word Dissertation. If you don't do well enough in the Essays, you can't do the Dissertation. Ouch.
We'll worry about that later.
Seems like a lot of work ahead and alot of information to be taken in. It's all abit confusing at the moment. I'm sure I'll have a better idea of what's going on once I've read the Handbook and all the other stuff that was handed out.
Needless to say, the hard work start now.
It seems as if there are about 30 people in the class, split between 2 different M.Sc Courses with perhaps 25 of those doing the Education course whilst the rest of us doing the Research by Education course.
Of those 30, there are only 4 of us are male and only one of them Scottish -yours truly-. The rest are women, clearly. And mostly International students and of top of that, mostly Chinese. Think the Uni. must be making quite alot of money from this group.
Today represented orientation. Meeting and greeting and info regarding the Course. The highlights being the 6 Units to be taken over 2 semesters which will conclude with 6x4000 word Essays and a final 15.000 word Dissertation. If you don't do well enough in the Essays, you can't do the Dissertation. Ouch.
We'll worry about that later.
Seems like a lot of work ahead and alot of information to be taken in. It's all abit confusing at the moment. I'm sure I'll have a better idea of what's going on once I've read the Handbook and all the other stuff that was handed out.
Needless to say, the hard work start now.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
frozen.
Before my departure, I was on a mission to download music as I wasn't sure how available it would have been when I got back to the 'cave' in Edinburgh. Alas, all the stuff I downloaded is still sitting waiting to get listened to. I'll get round it.
Instead, this particular number has been on repeat.
Nina Simone I hear the audience gulp and I would agree...it's funny how you stumble across things completely by accident and this was abit of an accident.
But, it really is quite something. The range of her voice and it's uniqueness has a quality in it that is far superior to alot of more modern voices. It's a voice that doesn't really need a musical instrument to accompany it. Often, simple piano does grace the background but any music is merely secondary to her lyrics where she is singing a blues, jazz or pop song. It's incredible.
Her straining, yet controlled voice on 'I think it's going to rain today' is enough to make anyone sit up and take notice whilst the emotional depths reached on 'I love you Porgy' or 'Mr. Bojangles' would encourage even the most cynical of heart to melt, even if only a tiny bit. It could even be argued that her version of 'Here comes the sun' could be better than the original. Controversial yes but not far from the truth particulary when she tells us that 'everything is alright'.
Instead, this particular number has been on repeat.
Nina Simone I hear the audience gulp and I would agree...it's funny how you stumble across things completely by accident and this was abit of an accident.
Question is whether or not it's manly to listen to it but in all honesty, any manlyness I may have had has evaporated. But music is music and if it agrees with your ears, then it's worthwhile.
But, it really is quite something. The range of her voice and it's uniqueness has a quality in it that is far superior to alot of more modern voices. It's a voice that doesn't really need a musical instrument to accompany it. Often, simple piano does grace the background but any music is merely secondary to her lyrics where she is singing a blues, jazz or pop song. It's incredible.
Her straining, yet controlled voice on 'I think it's going to rain today' is enough to make anyone sit up and take notice whilst the emotional depths reached on 'I love you Porgy' or 'Mr. Bojangles' would encourage even the most cynical of heart to melt, even if only a tiny bit. It could even be argued that her version of 'Here comes the sun' could be better than the original. Controversial yes but not far from the truth particulary when she tells us that 'everything is alright'.
It's a celebration 'I got my head, I got my friends, got my ears, got my eyes, got my nose...I got my soul, got my heart, I got my smile'. Enough said.
However, I do feel about weird singing along to 'Young, gifted and black' because, clearly I'm not. I guess though, that is was a sign of the times.
A slow-burner.
However, I do feel about weird singing along to 'Young, gifted and black' because, clearly I'm not. I guess though, that is was a sign of the times.
A slow-burner.
Friday, September 08, 2006
invective
...and suddenly it's really warm again. Isn't that considerate of the weather.
I think the fed-upness 0f yesterday is still here. Can't really shake it off. Lethargy is ruling and I currently haven't got the ability to punt it into touch.
Have been trying to organise my cv in preparation for my j-hunting but even that seems abit beyond me, after all, a cv is meant to sell your attributes. It's meant to make you sound like you are totally fantastic and capable at everything you have ever done but the difficulty is that I don't think I'm fantastic and capable at everything I have ever done and that fact is manifesting itself in my practice cv's. I guess doing a cv is something you have to be in the mood to do. That, or get someone else to do it.
iT'S not all doom and gloom however. I have finished my '2nd language acqusition research methods book'. Hardly a bundle of laughs but practical nontheless. It might be relevent to this course i'm starting next week...well, it's my field and I want to do research.
+ I play spider solitare to much.
Actually, it is all doom and gloom isn't it?
new beginning. new start.honest.
I think the fed-upness 0f yesterday is still here. Can't really shake it off. Lethargy is ruling and I currently haven't got the ability to punt it into touch.
Have been trying to organise my cv in preparation for my j-hunting but even that seems abit beyond me, after all, a cv is meant to sell your attributes. It's meant to make you sound like you are totally fantastic and capable at everything you have ever done but the difficulty is that I don't think I'm fantastic and capable at everything I have ever done and that fact is manifesting itself in my practice cv's. I guess doing a cv is something you have to be in the mood to do. That, or get someone else to do it.
iT'S not all doom and gloom however. I have finished my '2nd language acqusition research methods book'. Hardly a bundle of laughs but practical nontheless. It might be relevent to this course i'm starting next week...well, it's my field and I want to do research.
+ I play spider solitare to much.
Actually, it is all doom and gloom isn't it?
new beginning. new start.honest.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Asymmetric
Bit fed-up.
I shouldn't be but I am.
Think the past week of 'resting' aka not doing much at all, is starting to catch up with me. There is only a certain amount of not doing anything that can be tolerated. Waking up isn't high on the 'things to do' if there isn't much on the agenda. Some people might be delighted with not having anything to do. I am at times but not at the moment.
Perhaps I won't be saying that when I'm busy doing assignments and stuff but even that thought doesn't exactly fill me with excitement.
I really could go on and on and on and on about life, the universe and everything but it would make heavy reading.
Instead, it's not bad being Scottish at the moment. We are sitting pretty at the top of Group B on 6 points. Below us are the French whilst the World Champions are 2nd bottom of the group on 1 point. Can't we just stop all the qualifying now?
And then back to normality.
I shouldn't be but I am.
Think the past week of 'resting' aka not doing much at all, is starting to catch up with me. There is only a certain amount of not doing anything that can be tolerated. Waking up isn't high on the 'things to do' if there isn't much on the agenda. Some people might be delighted with not having anything to do. I am at times but not at the moment.
Perhaps I won't be saying that when I'm busy doing assignments and stuff but even that thought doesn't exactly fill me with excitement.
I really could go on and on and on and on about life, the universe and everything but it would make heavy reading.
Instead, it's not bad being Scottish at the moment. We are sitting pretty at the top of Group B on 6 points. Below us are the French whilst the World Champions are 2nd bottom of the group on 1 point. Can't we just stop all the qualifying now?
And then back to normality.
Monday, September 04, 2006
diplomacy
Cheery.
Cheer up.
Smile.
Am trying to.
But with it wind, the darkness, the clouds and the drizzly rain it's not that easy to get yourself 'up'.
T + 1 Week is almost here.
The realisation that I'm not just here on holiday has started to filter into my tiny brain. That this is 'it'. No more humidty. No more fans or air-conditioners. No more Koreanness. Only Scottishness.
Have been told in no uncertain terms to get my act together and to banish those '...' Reduce the 3 '...' to only 1 '.' Turn it into a full stop.
Much, much easier to do in theory than it is in practice. In my defence the 3 '...' represents hope. I quite like having hope, any amount actually. I don't do '.' = definites.
I guess it's about looking forward. It doesn't look that rosy, in fact it's not that exciting but I need to turn 180 degrees. From 'past' to 'future'. That'll be undeniably hard but
Cheer up.
Smile.
Am trying to.
But with it wind, the darkness, the clouds and the drizzly rain it's not that easy to get yourself 'up'.
T + 1 Week is almost here.
The realisation that I'm not just here on holiday has started to filter into my tiny brain. That this is 'it'. No more humidty. No more fans or air-conditioners. No more Koreanness. Only Scottishness.
Have been told in no uncertain terms to get my act together and to banish those '...' Reduce the 3 '...' to only 1 '.' Turn it into a full stop.
Much, much easier to do in theory than it is in practice. In my defence the 3 '...' represents hope. I quite like having hope, any amount actually. I don't do '.' = definites.
I guess it's about looking forward. It doesn't look that rosy, in fact it's not that exciting but I need to turn 180 degrees. From 'past' to 'future'. That'll be undeniably hard but
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