Maximise

Two weeks and counting or alternatively, 1 week and counting.

The 1 week refers to the amount of time between now and when I fly back to the motherland. Another 7 hours in the air. That part doesn't especially faze me as such. The run though does and there is a lot to pack and organise. That, and work of course. Work will take care of itself. This week has been noticably slower in terms of what's going on. That's Ramadan for you. I suspect I won't get out on time on Thursday afternoon though. I can but hope. I compiled a list of things to do for next week at work. It's quite long. But, it's more like little stupid things that need attention. Nothing major which is good.

Outside of office hours though. Changing money, paying bills, washing, packing, and wedding stuff. It's a lot but nothing that shouldn't be massively demanding. Step by step and all that. I really should get a list together of what I need to do. Otherwise, I'll forget and that could be a big thing.

The 2 weeks refer to a rather big day. The biggest. People have started to remind. Like I need reminded. I'm trying not to think about it but it's certainly there in the background. If I let it come to the fore, then I'll worry more about it and I'd rather not do that. At least until a couple of days before it. I think when I land in Scotland, it really will hit home. And for that, I have 1 week!

Fast

Yes, it's that time of the year. The time in which everything goes to pot. Yes, welcome back Ramadan. No food or drink during daylight hours. Or in public for us non-believers. You just have to be savvy on when you can though.

In the office, we have a single person observing it. That's totally fine and I do respect that. When she's in the office there is no point in even trying. If she's out for an extended time, then a small bottle of water can be downed in quick smart time. When it comes to something more substantial, not really much chance. In fact, I've tended to not really have anything until I get back to the safe confines of home. A good 8 or 9 hours after breakfast. In some ways, that's quite good going. I do get a bit of a headache though if I don't at least have water for a few hours. Particularly given it's a hundred million degrees outside.

The traffic on the roads is markedly different as well. No traffic jams. Our believer friends get to go home a couple of hours early. Even around sunset, the amount of cars on the road remains low. Perfect for getting about quickly.

The irony being of course is that when the fast is broken at sunset people tend to eat more than they normally would. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?

This will go on for another 4 weeks. Two of which, I'll be out of Dubai. The good news is that in 4 weeks, we'll get a 3 or 4 day holiday. A good trade off.

Chair

The Scottish football season is back. It's early this year. Generally, it starts at the beginning of August but circumstances dictate otherwise. The 'circumstances' that these days our teams have to pre-qualify for the Champions and Eorpa Leagues. We're not good enough just to get to the first round proper. The Pre-qualifying starts in July. It makes sense to start the league early. It gives teams time to get match fit and ready for it. This is particularly important when our teams are likely to play other teams who have played half their league season already.

Yet, managers are complaining about the early start. Well, I couldn't give a monkeys. If our teams could win in Europe instead of getting knocked out early, then we wouldn't have to pre-qualify. They can moan all they want but they only need to do one thing. Win. Fairly simple all things considered. If you win, the coefficient goes up and when it goes up our ranking goes up and so the 'hassle' of pre-qualifying disappears.

That said, Dundee Utd have already been knocked out. Before the season even starts. It's getting stupid really.

But, the footballs back and that's the main thing. No big names in coming and no really big transfer fees paid. A sign of the times. This season, I hope that crowds increase. The more punters through the gates, the more money the clubs will have. Simple economics. I'd go one step further and say reduce the ticket prices to get the punters in. If you have more punters in, then the chances of there being knock on benefits increases e.g. pies sold blah blah. Again, not rocket science.

Predictions?

Celtic looked good at times last season and seem settled now. It would be hard to beat against them. Rangers have a new manager and little money to spend. Have not really improved themselves in the close season. Dundee Utd and Hearts battling it out for 3rd. Hearts have strengthened well. I'd like them to have a wee run in Europe as well, at least to the group stages of Eorpa. Either of them stand a decent chance in the cups. At the bottom, Kilmarnock to go down. Dunfermline are the new boys but would expect them to stay up. The rest are much of a muchness. Hard to say where they will finish.

We'll find out come May.

Frank

Oh dear oh dear. Another one has joined the '27' club. That elite club in which members have died on when they are 27. Members include Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix to name but 2. Alas, Amy Winehouse has died. The cause of death is currently listed as 'unknown'. Fair enough. However, it wouldn't take a large leap to come to the conclusion that it was either drug or alcohol related. Perhaps even both.

I can't say that I have any of her albums. Not really my thing. That said, I can appreciate her as an artist. She had a voice that didn't really seem to go with how she looked. She sang from her gut - a bit like these old black women from days gone by. In today's sleek pop, it was different and by no means a bad thing. Not only that but she wrote some damn catchy songs. Clearly Rehab will be the one that is most familiar. The irony of it.

It seemed that there was this other side to her - a vulnerable one which came through in her lyrics. Everyone has that kind of 'side'. Some are better than others when it comes to dealing with it. Sadly, that may have contributed to her demise. I didn't know her and have no real idea of what happened so it's wrong of my to spread rumours.

All I'll say is that she had a definite gift. It's a shame that such a gift could not have been prolonged.

Lemon

Up and at the pool this morning. I'd like to have a bit of colour about me for this 'day' I'm having in 3 weeks time. After all, there might well be a few photos taken. It was h.o.t. But being the man I am kept going and took it. I might well have got into the pool though to cool myself down. I had to. It's 45C!

I was suncreamed up so hopefully no red, only a lesser shade of white. That's not too bad, is it.

I might try and get up to the pool in the coming days. There might be an hour of direct sunshine after work, so let's see. I might just get home and flak out like I usually do...

Flan

The Murdoch's i.e. Rupert and son James were hauled in front of some Government committee to answer questions on what the heck was going on at News of the World and in a wider context, News International. It was always going to be interesting to see. You can be assured that they would have been well briefed and coached to the max and that is pretty much how it turned out.

All very nice. All very pleasant. All very 'oh, that's a good question actually'. A wonderful way a buying times to think up the answer and in way to deflect things.

I saw some of it and there were a number of unanswered questions. The son went down the road of not being able to answer fully because there was a criminal investigation going on. Yes, that is true but given that legal immunity appeals to such committees such a adoption of that line should have been picked up by the committee members. You can be sure that he knew that. The committee should have been tougher on that front.

Murdoch senior essentially sat back and let them get on with it. That or he was showing his age and didn't really know what the hell was going on. Indeed, at times he gave only monosyllabic answers.

Towards the end, it all got a bit interesting. Cue stage left, a foam pie thrown at Murdoch senior and landing right on him. A melly ensued involving his missus who whacked the chucker of said pie. During this, where was I? En route to the bathroom. I missed the bloody exciting bit. I'd watched it for about an hour before as well. Gutted. I always miss the good bits. Shocking. In the end, there was a 10 minute recess before it continued. Murdoch was without his jacket though.

Being cynical, it was all a show. For the Murdoch's, it was damage limitation and all about PR. Trying to explain what happened and in the end, basically blaming others whilst saying that they were no fully aware of what was happening. In some respects, some of what they were saying is probably true. Heck, even within my own Department I'm not sure that my Boss really knows 100% what happens. So, for a CEO to know exactly what is happening...Either way, they have to carry the can for it.

No doubt this will roll on and on but ultimately, the truth must be outed.

Catch

Friday saw a Hollywood or Bollywood night at my place. In essence, it meant that everyone invited had to dress up as a famous H or B/wood movie character. Simple. Or not as the case may be. It took a bit of planning particularly in terms of what to wear. All of this was to 'celebrate' the end of my single life. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I'd invited everyone round early and instructed them to also bring 1 dish each so that we could all eat and drink. Let me say that there was an absolute abundance of food. I don't think anyone brought one dish. More like 4 or 5. It was incredible. To my delight, almost everyone took the time and effort to dress up. Me included. I got myself a Batman costume. The retro, 60's style one. It was a good idea at the time. But, as I found out during the course of the evening, there was no zip and in order to pee, you had to literally take it all off. Not good.

Anyway, we ate and drank in the house. The beer ran out surprisingly quickly. Unsurprisingly harder drinks started to flow. Whisky followed by Tequila. That was my first bad move of the night. A couple of tequila's later, I thought I was fine. I was fine. Yeah, I was. I was still standing and was ready to hit the town. But, did I eat? Did I drink water? No.

By 11ish we hit the town. Some people went home which wasn't totally unexpected. In 'men' though piled into taxi's and instructed the respective drivers to head to Bur Dubai. We landed at some club and blagged our way in - oh, and before I continue, I still had my Batman suit on. The manager greeted us and even gave us a table which was nice. Later on, we somehow managed to blag a bottle of Champagne. Well, I should say, sparkling wine. Either way, it was only going one place and that was down the throats of us. We did a bit of dancing and there was even a message on the big screen TV's wishing me all the best for my big day. I thought that was a nice touch. Well, as I sit and write this a couple of days later, I can't recall if that was what I was thinking at the time. I can't really recall. Remember that tequila?

So, we departed from that place and headed to an even dingier place not for from it. It was dark, smoky and busy. I remember being there but not really much else. I get flashes of what happened but more in terms of what happened rather than what I said or what people said to me. I recall 'dancing'. I recall going to the bathroom. That was a drama. I recall drinking more. And chatting to people. In fact, I spoke to some Welsh bloke. No idea who he was, what he did or anything. I just know he was Welsh.

After that place it was time to go. I was on auto pilot. My inbuilt 'get me home' navigation system kicked in and indeed I did get home. No real clue how I managed it. I did though and even managed to get out of my suit, get my contact lenses out and as I later found out, spill half a bottle of mouthwash in the bathroom. Why was I trying to make my breath smell better? Perhaps I simply thought it was alcohol and wanted to continue drinking? Not great though.

In the morning, well, the less said about that the better. The less said about the entire day. I've not felt that rough for a long time. Nothing really to be proud of actually. I can't say I enjoy that feeling at all. The one in which even moving is a hassle. I kind of perked up later in the day but by which time it wa too late to salvage the day. Perhaps that is a sign of a successful stag do. And to think, only the Edinburgh one to go. It makes me want to vomit, just thinking about it. No tequila will be the first rule. It's poison.