Fleeting

All this 'mind-games' that go on before a footy match. What a pile of poo. Nonsense really. Most of the time it is there to make a headline and sell some newspapers. Case in point Barcelona Vs. Chelsea. Mourninho pointing out that one of his ex-players - Gidjohnsen - has somehow 'learned' how to dive and get penalities now that he has joined the notoriously diving Barcelona team. Perhaps.

Now then Mourninho, that is somewhat rich coming from yourself. After all it was one Porto team under his influence who saw fit to dive and time waste at any opportunity. Evidence>? UEFA Cup Final Vs. Celtic. Vs. Manchester Utd. at Old Trafford. The list is actually quite long.
But now he proports himself to be this 'saint' in which his Chelsea team would never get involved in such unsavoury incidences. Ever. The only dive you would see is when he sprints along the touchline and kind of stumbles to his knees and slides in his suit along the turf as if he has just won the World Cup. Instead, all that happened was Drogba scoring in injury time.

Hmm. Arjen Robben anyone?
Let he who is perfect cast the first dive.

I got soul but I'm not a solider.
I got soul I got soul i GOT SOUL.
But i'm not a solider but im not a solider but i'm not a solider.
igotsoulbut imnot a solider/igotsoulbutimnotasolider.
soul-solider.got but not.

i got soul but i'm not a solider
.
.
.
.
i got soul but im not a solider.

.
.
.all these things i've done.haha.done.

Publish

Isn't the weather fu_ing wonderful.

I mean truly outstanding. It seems like I've been transported to the Med. without even getting on a plane. Remarkable this global bloody warming nonsense. I even put my shorts on just so I could fully get 'into' how amazing the warm front was. I don't think I can fully articulate the feeling of having 'nice' weather and actually reporting the fact that is soo good. It's so uplifting. I felt that I was up there - with the minimal cloud cover, in a carefree place. Can everyday be like this?

Perhaps I'll just pretend that everyday is like this. Yes, that's what I'll do.
The sun beating down, the light touch of wind and a faint smell of dew on the grass. The intense blue in the sky, akin in colour to the sea in a distant, far off lagoon. How could the weathermen not have predicted this, particularly with their high tech tools?

I can hardly wait to see what joys lie ahead in the coming days...surely nothing can come close to the conditions of the past few days, in terms of it's sheer beauty. If it does, then we are indeed a lucky bunch. Perhaps as lucky as once in a lifetime. Incredible. It's times like these that poets start becoming poetic...there sitting with their dictionaries trying to come up with new adventures in language to fully capture the moment. One might come close to perfection but how can you capture perfection? Langauge isn't enough.

Bollocks innit.

Drain

The last of my boxes from Korea arrived...better late than never I guess. I wasn't sure what was in them. Couldn't have been very important since they were sent 'slow'. I suppose they weren't 'that' important. I might change 'important' to 'poignant'. Evidence of a previous life that is no longer exists.

Shirts and ties collected over the course of 2.5 years of having to wear them to teach at Uni. I don't have much need for them these days.

Whilst the 2nd box contained some textbooks and some long forgotten photos of times...well, lets just say 'previous' times. Pictures that I didn't realise I had.

Funny how the small things set you back.

Exploited

You know you're going to have a bad day when:
1. You just get out of the front door to see the number 27 bus driving away into the distance.
2. You walk further down the road to in order to get a number 5 bus, only to see it drive away in the distance.
3. You get to the bus-stop and await the next 27 bus only to find that there is a random old women standing next to you who decides that she wants to 'chat' about how long it took her to see the doctor this morning /apparantly he was late because there was roadworks/...thankfully, her number 4 bus came almost immediately.
4. You get to Uni. and notice that the stuff you need in order to get other stuff done, is actually still lying in the house.
5. Oh yeah and the weather is mingin'.

plenty.

Oh...got an email from my Professor. Was delighted - after all he did say that he would contact me but in the back of your mind you know that he is only saying that so that he gets me off his back. Anyway, the proposed meeting for Thursday has /shock horror/ been put back to Monday morning at 10.15. Right when I'm meant to be having a Statistics class.

Gives me an excuse not to go to Statistics though. Every cloud/silver lining?
Plus, gives me a few more days to prepare myself for the fact that I probably won't be any wiser when the meeting is over. In fact, I'll probably be more confused than when I started but that is the chance you take with academics. Some are wonderful and have a teaching slant, others though are only concerned about their research or book or journal and have no real affinity for teaching or even interacting with their students even if they only want to ask them a question.

At least my winter clothes have arrived. Only taken since the 3rd week of August to get here. Not bad, all things considered. Just in time for the crappy weather to kick in.
Oops, shouldn't mention the weather, I just get abused.

Care.

So, have you ever noticed how similiar Monaco and Dundee are?

Yeah, me neither.

Apparantly, they both slope to the 'water' which I guess is technically true. Think all they need in order to be completely similiar is a Grand Prix and a beach and a...

Fingers

haha.
Such abuse from them lot!

Instead, have a look at this. We need more of this randomness.

Music isn't that good but turn down the sound, it won't matter.

The point is the same.

Primary

Look out the window.
This is why I don't want to live in Scotland.
Damp, dark, cloudy and drizzle.
I thought my watch had sped up during the night. It said 8.30am. No way, it was only 6.30am or something. It was so dark.
If this is what is going to be like over the winter then there will problems.

Is the weather a reason to leave a country? Yes. Definitely. 100%.

It'll probably become windy and further compound things.
The joy of it.
I wonder if I have that seasonal disorder thingy due to lack of sunlight.
Perhaps I'm just grumpy.

randomness

Have been trying over the past few weeks to get some inspiration for my 3 assignments. I've been trying to identify areas to research and finally write about. I'm nearly there with 2 but the 3rd one remains a mystery.

So, I emailed my tutors in order to set up a short meeting basically to say 1. Not you can't do that or 2. O.K. that sounds interesting.

1 tutor has yet to reply whilst the other suggested that we 'might' be able to meet a week on thursday - first thing.

What?

I don't expect much from my tutors - being on time to class, delievering class in a meaningful and being available to 'help'. That's all. And being able to help surely is the big one, after all we are only 'trainees' whilst they are the ones who are in the know with the knowledge and experience. How can we get the benefit of that knowledge and experience if they are not setting time aside to give off that knowledge and experience. I'm not expecting them to be waiting patiently for us students to come knocking on their doors but...

What's the point of paying all this money and get no support. I could have saved the fees and sat in a library for a year.

And here is the thing - he might say 'no you can't do that' which means that I've wasted a week.

If University is not for teaching and learning, then what is it for?

Scan

It would certainly be non-pc and wrong to blame women for alot of ills. Although, some can be pointed at and said to make certain people unhappy at any given time.
Seems like that is true at this instant in time.

I wonder though if it has anything to do with the fact that 'they' don't think. They just continue on their merry way doing whatever they are doing with scant regard to anything outwith their tunnel vision.

Example, I hear them cry.
How can a woman send a message with no 'hi' or 'bye' and in the middle just kill everything that you have been wanting or thinking about or even hoping for. Crushing the merest hint of hope and daylight at the end of the long, dark gloomy tunnel. Then a week later send another message all chatty and fine and friendly, expecting everything to be just fine and dandy. Like there is no problem even though she has just said everything that you didn't want to hear...

In reply to the 'chatty' message, I answered all the questions in it. Plain and simple to which the reply was 'that message was too short'.

Well, what the f___k do you expect?
Do you honestly believe everything is perfect?
You have hurt me more than anyone has hurt me before in my entire life and you expect everything to be fine.
Wake up.
See, cyclic.
up and down.

Survey

Any ideas...

How do I put a picture in my header?

Am thick and can't do it.

encounter

So, this bloke was trying to fly from Prestwick /SORRy, that should read Glasgow Prestwick since they are so close together/ to Paris.
Nothing particularly unusual in that as I'm sure there are a few flights going that way everyday.
This bloke though was stopped on his way through the X-Ray/immigration part. Again, nothing particularly unusual in that either. It's certainly happened to me and even more so since all this increase in airport security with belts and shoes etc taken off before you pass through the Xray. Even if it doesn't beep, there is always some bored looking security man there to frisk you.

Anyway, this bloke passed through the machine. It beeped so was frisked by the security man. The security man felt something beneath the bloke who had just passed through the Xray machine. At this point, the bloke was isolated and then taken away for questioning regarding 'something' under his clothes, attached to his body.

Clearly, normal people don't have anything at all attached to their body especially if they are going on a plane and if they do, then alarm bells surely go off with security staff which is what happened.
It turned out that the bloke had strapped toothpaste around his waist under his jumper/jacket, instead of putting it in a bag or something thus causing a securty alert.

Why on earth would you want to strap toothpaste to yourself for a 1 hour flight?
Common sense would also indicate that doing something like that is going to arose interest in you and probably not 'good' arosal. In fact, its just plain stupid. It's something that even stupid people probably wouldn't even do because it clearly is so stupid.

So, where did this knobhead come from?
Glasgow? Edinburgh? Aberdeen perhaps? No
Scotland? England? Wales maybe? No.

Answer = Korea.

Seems like they give anybody a passport these days.
I bet he had his rice cooker stuck down his trousers, you know, for effect.
That's probably someone's dad.
nuff said.

Conferences

You know how I said that 'I can tell everything is going to be o.k.' Well, I think I lied.

I'm not sure everything will be.
First, I am farting about on the internet when I could be reading about the joys of Vygotsky and whether or not his ZPD and the arguements for and against it would be a decent topic to cover in my 'Educational Theory' class*.

*could substituite that with coming up with a small scale research project, reading about Dewey, trying to come to terms with statistics and deciphering the maze that is post-positivism and cultural sociology and how it has influences educational reserach.

Is it any wonder I'm farting about?

Seem to be thinking about doing and actually doing abit but then getting so de-motivated or tired or bored that all the best laid plans just disappear into the horizon-like a lot lately.
I tell myself that you can't study and read all day everyday. Kind of true.

Elsewhere, everything is not going to be ok. That has been made very clear by certain parties. Hope has been killed and in it's place a stark reminder that everything isn't going to be o.k. no-matter how one urges it to be.

Much

The Pursuit of Happiness.
by pf.

Forget it. It's unattainable. It's a myth. In it's purest form, it will not happen. You might get close to the pinnacle of 'happiness' but the actual attainment of it will be beyond you.

I suspect that everyone wants to get to the highest point they can get to on the ladder of happiness - me included. In fact, it is probably the only thing that I can truly say 'that's what I'm searching for'.

But a disproportionate amount of time is spend getting to the 'top' of the ladder. So much time, for such little reward. A brief moment...For one person, it might be getting a smile out of someone who never even knew you existed, no matter how fleeting the smile. To another, it might be having someone say the simple words 'i love you'.

The former being merely an instant reward for something that might never happen. The latter, again might be something that might never happen.
And for those 2 examples, how long does the person wait in anticipation or hope to get such a feeling?

If it was a business, it would have gone out of business for being too unprofitable.

Yet people spend their entire lives trying to reach and reach and reach to attain it. Doing anything to try and get it. Drugs, surgery, bribing, paying. Whatever. A word. Stop. Once you get the 'happiness' you will want more and more and you'll become greedier and more likely to do anything to get that 'happiness'. Is that the way of a truly happy person?

I suspect that happiness is relative. If you don't expect anything, then anything that happens will be unexpected which could bring about a degree of the mythical 'happiness'. Expect, and you will be disappointed.

If you say your 'happy', I might try and believe you but I might think you are merely contented. A difference. If you maintain you are, then I would suggest 1. That you don't really have a suitable concept of happiness, 2. You are not completely in touch with your senses and 3. that you are probably a liar.

Am I happy? haha.

move on...

tests

The French were slain at Hampden then. Not quite but a 1-0 win will do. We are not world beaters just yet but we can harry and disrupt and stick to our gameplan which we did. The French were not allowed to play their normal game and in the end, it frustrated them. They didn't really know what to do. Case in point in the French Coach who claimed that it was the ballboys were the reason that they didn't win because they didn't get the ball back onto the pitch quickly enough. Straws and clutching.

Perhaps the French will qualify, after all quality usually rises to the top however we might give the larger teams a fright. A draw in Kiev would go down rather well. 10 points from 12. To get that...

England=back to normality there.
Wales=mince. You don't lose 5 goals at home regardless of opposition.
N.IReland=surprising.
Rep. of Ireland=similiar to the Welsh. You don't let in 5 against Cyprus. Period.

b+a

TwO things.
Connected? Not really.

ONE= hope we stuff the French at Hampden on Saturday. But, I would be content with a draw and even a draw in Kiev on Wednesday. Unbeaten after 4 games would be cracking. 3 out of 4 would be highly satisfying.

TWO = Edinburgh Uni. is at 33 in the poll of 'best Uni's.' in the World. Not too bad. Does that mean I'm the 33rd best in my field? You bet your arse I am.

Base

That's more than a month I've been home. Not the longest stretch since I 'lived' and returned but certainly the most permanent and restricted. Kind of feel abit trapped. I guess that is abit irrational given that here is 'home'. Perhaps it's because I can't really see any light at the end of the tunnel. Before, there was always the thought that I would be returning to Korea or London or wherever I was. In some ways that was the light. It's strange though, because I never thought that when I was living in Edinburgh. Perhaps it was because that was the only thing I knew having gone to school and Uni. here. But, with moving away the thought of other places is there and it has remained.

The urge for something different.

Anyway, you know you are home when:
1. You see 2 old grannies fighting on the downstairs deck of a Number 5 bus.
2. You quite fancy having a kebab whilst waiting on the night bus home.
3. You know that the rain will last all day.
4. You have to queue to get a pint.
5. Whilst in afore mentioned queue, a fight starts and you start to get worried about the glass pint glasses that might or might not smash nearby.
6. Birds wear nothing even though it's quite chilly outside.
7. You know that Edinburgh is a nice place to visit on holiday.
8. hmm.

anseo

inspiration and author.

see photo below.

Faculty

When all good intentions get punted into the abyss.
Not a good start to this damned course. Was going to do x/y/z/ in prepration for the week ahead but in the end, I didn't do anything. Will have to sort that one out. Did get to the gym though.

Might have something to do with the beer consumed on Saturday night.