St. Andrew's Day

Patron Saint day and does anyone really care?

Not really. It's a bit sad to be honest. It seems that many countries actively care about their national day or whatever but we Scots couldn't give a damn.

Alas, happy St. Andrew's Day my fellow country people.

A wee bit Rabbie Burns is in order. A Parcel o' Rogues seems highly appropriate...

1.
Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame,
Fareweel our ancient glory!
Fareweel ev'n to the Scottish name.
Sae famed in martial story!
Now Sark rins over Salway sands,
An' Tweed rins to the ocean,
To mark where England's province stands --
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

2.
What force or guile could not subdue
Thro' many warlike ages
Is wrought now by a coward few
For hireling traitor's wages.
The English steel we could disdain,
Secure in valour's station;
But English gold has been our bane --
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

3.
O, would, or I had seen the day
That Treason thus could sell us,
My auld grey head had lien in clay
Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace!
But pith and power, till my last hour
I'll mak this declaration :-
'We're bought and sold for English gold'--
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

Wikileaks, bloody hell.

Irrespective of whether or not it is/was a good idea to publish the latest 'cables' from diplomats, they are fascinating and may I say it, damning on a number of fronts. They don't particularly pull any punches and indeed some of them are pretty close to the truth.

I must say that I have no issue at all over their publication. None at all. The U.S. government have suggested that they will put people's lives at risk. What twaddle. They themselves have put people's lives at risk so to suggest that is a nonsense. It's the usual 'game' they play; using 'scare' tactics. Editors were briefed by the U.K. government and warned not to publish them. If you do this, this might happen. Hat's off to those who have reported them for seeing through that.

In the 1960's and 70's, it seemed as if journalists sole purpose was to sniff out a story, the more controversial, the better. Watergate being the prime example. Journalist's did investigate and did get their story. However, such investigations do not seem to be as prevalent these days. It's a sad reflection on the press theses days. They are owned by big companies or organisations and one would suspect that such behaviour is no longer tolerated. What has been interesting is that none of the 'big' newspapers in the U.K have really reported these cables in depth. For me, journalists should be the ones bringing injustices and the like to the masses. Then the masses can make up their own minds. Of course, there will be those who are aghast by it. Others will be cheering and other will simply not give two hoots. Hell, others will be saying that they are not surprised at all.

Government should be by the people for the people. That though is simply not the case. They have their own agenda and think only for themselves. Looking after number 1, instead of those who supposedly voted for them. I find that very depressing. I said a while back that democracy isn't working. I would still stand by that based on the release of these cables. It isn't.

I could whinge and moan but what good would it do. Nothing will happen. Nothing will change. 'Us' numpties will just go on with our blinkered little lives and 'those' numpties will simply continue on their merry way treating us all with the disdain that they have always done. 'Those' numpties will continue doing dodgy deals, continue acting unethically and immorally.

Well done for releasing this information. Looking forward to the next installment.

desktop

The Christmas movies have been dug out in earnest since Christmas is fast approaching. First up, Scrooged with Bill Murray. You can't go far wrong with a bit of Bill. It's still funny and given that it was made in 1988, it really hasn't aged that much at all. It still looks good and doesn't necessarily scream '1980's' at you like some films of that particular era.

Next up? That is the question.

A wonderful life will have to be watched. Is there any better Christmas film? After that, I'm not too sure. None seem to be on the tip of my tongue. Elf might a good one. I've not watched it all but Will Ferrell - what else do you need? Love Actually is OK; Some of those 'kids' ones could be an option - Santa Clause the movie for example.

Or maybe I'll just forgo Christmas movies and go for something else!

Trend

I was just on the yahoo website and on the right hand side it gives a list of all the top names that have been searched for recently. Well, that got me thinking. Why don't I put all those top names that are being search for in this post and see if anyone actually comes to visit me.

I doubt it and I'll just look a bit silly but it's early and I feel a bit sleepy.

O.K. here goes:

1. Snow warning
2. Peter Andre. /that'll be the 1st and last time he's mentioned on these fair pages/
3. Bernard Matthews
4. Euromillions
5. Christmas Markets
6. /some bird called/ Stacey Solomon
7. Dell laptops
8. Sat Navs
9. Winter Coats
10. Jennifer Aniston

prema

Sarah Palin.

There, I've said it. Two words that, frankly speaking, scare the living sh*t out of me. She was widely ridiculed when she was up as VP nomination. Let's just say, she didn't cover herself in glory through her utterances and general lack of, well, knowledge.

I thought that was that. Sadly, that isn't the case. It seems she's everywhere now. New books, a TV show yet she isn't sure if she is going to run for President in 2012. Two words, 'Aye Right' as we say in Scotland. The thing is, experience should have taught her to wise up and be clever. Gaff's happen, fair enough but the number that she makes on TV or on radio is frankly embarrassing. Hasn't someone said to her 'hold on a minute...?' I just can't quite fathom it. She seems to speak first then thinks later.

This week she said that the U.S should 'stand by our allied, the North...' That would be 'North' as in North Korea. She was then corrected on this faux pas. She probably has no idea where Korea is or even why they were at war.

The thing that scares me most is random stuff like this: '..allow us as individuals to exercise our own God-given rights to make our own decisions'.

Eh, I don't think so.

Is it you're God given right to decide to go and murder someone? Is it your God given right to go and decide to steal from someone?

She's having a laugh. I can't be doing with all this mixing of religion and politics. It's dangerous. Very dangerous. Honestly, if she becomes President...well, I hate to think. The thing is, she appears to have a large following which is even more scary. Even worse than that, she appears to be a 'moderate' among all these right wing conservatives. The day may come when we beg for George W to come back and restore sanity. That said, sanity would to prevent people like this from being President on the grounds of having no real idea of anything.

Oh my head hurts.

mixture

Friggin heck.

I'm not a fan, particularly of driving over here. Too many idiots and too many people who believe that the road is their's and their's only and anyone in the way should got out of the way immediately even if there is nowhere to go.

Today, I was driving along Sheikh Zayed Road which is essentially the main highway between Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Seemingly, it is 'iconic' because it has all these really high buildings on it but in reality, it is a 14 lane highway which is dead straight and is essentially a race truck. I tend to keep to the 2 overmost lanes. I don't drive fast, I tend not to overtake. I just go on my own little merry way making sure that I'm not a danger to others.

Alas, I was driving along when I started to approach this section of the road in which a flyover is located. The 'legs' of the flyover come down over the road so the lanes slightly narrow. If  you keep straight, there is no problem. In fact, there really shouldn't be any problem at all. It's a straight road!

Anyway, two lanes to my left but perhaps 20 metres ahead was this little car. A Lancer or something like that. To my right, probably 20 metres away was one of these minibuses. Suddenly this little stupid car decided to veer over 3 lanes to the right, literally steering at a 45 degree angle. Before getting to the 3rd lane, the minibus driver had seem him heading straight for him and he veered off to the right. More like a swerve to be honest. The little car then swerved the other way. They were close to hitting each other. Meanwhile, I'm thinking 'oh sh*t' whilst looking in my mirrors to see if it's safe to slow down. It was, thankfully. The stupid little car was now in 'my' lane and not too far ahead of me. I decided to honk my horn. I'm quite tough when I want to be.  Honestly, this idiot could have caused a major accident which involved me, and all the people on the minibus. Fool.

Thus, I've decided to walk. Everywhere I can. Which isn't very much because a. it gets really hot and b. you pretty much need a car to do anything.

fade

Where to start?

O.K. it was a normal working day until I get to the office. My office is at the Airport and is literally right next to the areas in which planes park at the terminal building. At one of the parking bays next to my office was a Bangladeshi Air flight. Nothing unusual there, yet near it was a big fire engine on the taxiway with it's light flashing. That was strange as nothing goes on the taxiway apart from airplanes. I didn't think too much of it as I'm very busy at work. Honest.

Later on, police were everywhere. Flashing lights were, well, flashing. Security people were all over the place. Something was definitely going on less that 100 feet from the office. As it transpires, some drunken passenger had made some kind of bomb threat against the Bangladeshi Air flight that he was meant to be getting on. What a tube. Cue major issues, especially given the hoo-haa recently about cargo coming through Dubai with bombs on it.

We really were not sure what was happening. There was a lot of activity near the plane. Indeed, all the baggage etc was offloaded, x-rayed and placed in the empty parking bay next to our office.

"Eh, are we safe here?" I was asking, yet no one could say. Certainly no one was going anywhere. Hell, everyone was just getting on with their daily schedule. Then, around 12 o' clock an announcement was made over the tannoy. "Evacuate the building". That was it, time for a sharp exit. I was all ready and packed. Yet, did anyone move. Did they now't! What's wrong with these people? "Hello, an announcement was just made". Still, no one went anywhere. If this had been the U.K. the whole bloody city would have been moved out. But us, 100 feet away? No!

So, I stayed, well, you can't abandon ship, can you?

Later in the afternoon, buses brought the passengers to the parking bay where all the baggage was located. Each passenger was told to identify his or her baggage. And that was it. That's pretty much all I saw. I believe that afterwards, all the baggage was then reloaded onto the plane. I guess that it must have been 'safe'. Not that I was caring because at home time, I was 'home'.

I beat the drunk guy doesn't feel so clever now. And I bet that this incident isn't reported on CNN or even in the local newspaper. This will be hushed up, no doubt. So, here's the exclusive...

Tripping

Last year, I visited a 'Heritage' Village here in Dubai. Without sounding too harsh, it was crap. A couple of small buildings. No staff on hand, nothing. It was rubbish. I didn't learning anything Perhaps I went at the wrong time or something but as a tourist, I was left fairly disappointed. There is another 'Heritage' Village in a place called Hatta. Hatta is about 100 kilometres away from here and is located in the mountains next to Oman. The road that takes you there actually passes through Oman itself, though on a previous trip to Hatta, there was no border control or anything. Just the road.

Today, we drove out to Hatta to check out the village. It was a nice little drive. Deep orange sand as far as the eye could see for part of it, along with camels. This made way for rocks and finally, mountains. Not far from Hatta, there was a massive traffic jam. The road was 2 lane and we were pretty much stuck in it for 30 minutes or more. Of course, with any traffic jam, there are idiots who are too cool to wait in line. No, these - dare I say it - 'locals' try to be crafty and sneak up the hard shoulder in their big 4x4's. I hate that. As we got to the 'top' of the traffic jam, we could see that it was actually a checkpoint. A mild panic came over me as I didn't have my passport or anything. Just my driving licence. This must have been 'Oman'. When we got to the checkpoint the heavy armed policeman as for 'passport'. I gave him my driving licence in the hope that he wouldn't actually notice the difference. It worked and he waved us through. About 3 or 4 kilometres, another checkpoint came into view. Strange. This time though, we were waved through. I guess we had gone from the U.A.E into Oman, then back in the U.A.E. Didn't fancy Oman much. Nothing to see!

Finally we got to Hatta and the 'Heritage' Village. It was a bit better than the Dubai one. There were people around and thing to see. But, areas we closed and it generally had the feel that it was half finished. The entrance and the surrounding area were good, but towards the back, it kind of just fizzled out. There was a lookout building on the nearby hill. We went up and that was locked. What the heck. On the website, and indeed in tourist books, it had billed the village as a cultural centre with songs and tour guides and stuff but, really it wasn't at all. It was, I'll be diplomatic and say it was disappointing. The website is here if you fancy seeing the wonder that is the village. I tell you, this village is better, and closer!

fall

Tuesday. Day 2 of Eid. I could definitely get used to having loads of days off. In fact, I was thinking that between now and the 1st week of January, I don't have a full, 5 day working week. Fantastic. It's almost like teaching at University in Korea all over again, only with nicer weather. This week, we have Eid. Oh, hold on, next week is a full working week. Damn it. Ok, let's revise that. The week after that we are off on 2nd December as it's National Day here in the U.A.E. The following week is Islamic New Year which is aligned with the moon or something. Then, I'm off on holiday for 2 weeks. Scotland and coldness. Wonderful. Then the week I get back, I have 2 working days which will take me up to the 'real' New Year. We should get the 1st January off but since it's on a weekend, they might decree that the next working day is off, which would the Sunday. Fingers crossed for all of that.

Anyway, another day off. It means shopping, more specifically, Christmas shopping. I'm fairly crap at getting things for Christmas. So much so, that all I got was a pair of trousers for work, a CD for my better half and a table for the balcony. Hardly Christmas 'stuff'. The good news is though that we can now have dinner out on the balcony, under candlelight. Lovely.

violin

We were out sunbathing today. It was nice, sunny morning with just a little bit of wind. I was reading my book with not a care in the world, apart from the fact that I was starting to get a bit sweaty. So, I decided to go for a little dip in the pool. I boldly strode over to the pool and towards the little steps that lead to the pool. I grabbed hold of the metal bars and proceeded to put my big toe in the water to check its temperature.

Oooouch.

It was freezing cold. Really, seriously cold. Like the North Sea in Summer. Like bathing in water that has come straight from the fridge. It was c-o-l-d. Why is the pool still 'chilled' in winter. In Summer, fair enough, it's a million degrees but Winter, come on. What a waste of energy to cool it down.

I did pluck up the courage to go in mind. I didn't go in the shallow first as I usually do. I went to the deep end and just got in, all the way. Had I went in the shallow end, I would have got wet gradually but in these circumstances, it's best just to go for it. In the end, I warmed myself up and did 20 lengths. Get in there.

In the afternoon, some seriously big black clouds then came to visit. It tried to rain in our neighbourhood but didn't. We went out for a drive upto the Dubai Mall. It's perhaps a 15 minute drive. On the way, it was bright sunshine and dry. Yet, around half way there, suddenly, it today chucked it down. The road was today flooded and we couldn't even see the markings on the road. This was the case for 100 meters. Then all of a sudden, the rain was off, the sun was out and the road was bone dry. What the hell? Did we just go through some kind of space-time thingy in which we dreamt that it rained and the road was flooded?! Weird weird weird.

There are strange things happening in Dubai.

nothing

You have hope that people in power are on the level. They mean what they say and will stand by what they say. Yet, even in this day and age it's not the case. It's frankly sickening the lengths that people will go to to dupe the masses. And what happens? The masses sit back and take it. Yes sir, three bags full sir. Blah blah blah. We should become Franco-philes and have a revolution of sorts. I find it morally repugnant. It's not so much the issue of tuition fees but the wider context of lying that I find extremely deceitful. Sorry, it's quite a long article but there you go.

Further evidence in the case against democracy c/o Liberal Democrat Leader, Nick Clegg.

Revealed: Lib Dems planned before election to abandon tuition fees pledge

Exclusive: Documents show Nick Clegg's public claim was at odds with secret decision made by party in March

The Liberal Democrats were drawing up plans to abandon Nick Clegg's flagship policy to scrap university tuition fees two months before the general election, secret party documents reveal.

As the Lib Dem leader faces a growing revolt after this week's violent protest against fee rises, internal documents show the party was drawing up proposals for coalition negotiations which contrasted sharply with Clegg's public pronouncements.

A month before Clegg pledged in April to scrap the "dead weight of debt", a secret team of key Lib Dems made clear that, in the event of a hung parliament, the party would not waste political capital defending its manifesto pledge to abolish university tuition fees within six years. In a document marked "confidential" and dated 16 March, the head of the secret pre-election coalition negotiating team, Danny Alexander, wrote: "On tuition fees we should seek agreement on part-time students and leave the rest. We will have clear yellow water with the other [parties] on raising the tuition fee cap, so let us not cause ourselves more headaches."

The document is likely to fuel criticism among Lib Dem backbenchers and in the National Union of Students that the party courted the university vote in the full knowledge that its pledge would have to be abandoned as the party sought to achieve a foot in government. Within a month of the secret document, Clegg recorded a YouTube video for the annual NUS conference on 13 April in which he pledged to abolish fees within six years.

"You've got people leaving university with this dead weight of debt, around £24,000, round their neck," the future deputy PM said in the video.

Clegg also joined all other Lib Dem MPs in signing an NUS pledge to "vote against any increase in fees". The leaked document showed that during the preparations for a hung parliament the Lib Dems still intended to fulfil that commitment.

The Lib Dems, who are now under intense pressure after agreeing in government that tuition fees should be allowed to rise, said the document was designed to work out how to reach agreement with the Tories and Labour, who were "diametrically" opposed to them.

As the party was isolated, the negotiators concentrated on trying to win ground where they could find consensus. Sources say that, in government, they have succeeded in tackling the discrimination against part-time students identified in the secret document.

The Lib Dem document is disclosed in a new book on the coalition negotiations by Rob Wilson, Conservative MP for Reading East. Wilson, who interviewed 60 key figures from the main parties for Five Days to Power, reveals that:
• The Lib Dems made no attempt to stand by their two key economic election pledges – no deficit reduction this year and opposition to a VAT increase – in the coalition negotiations. A Clegg aide told Wilson: "The thing that changed minds was George Osborne saying that he had seen the figures and it was quite horrific in real life as opposed to spin life."
• Alexander, appointed by Clegg last year to lead a secret four-strong coalition negotiating team, had thought the Lib Dems would only support a minority Tory government and not a coalition because of a "substantial gulf" between the two parties. In his confidential document on 16 March, Alexander wrote that it "would make it all but impossible for a coalition to be sustainable if it were formed, and extremely difficult to form without splitting the party."
• Chris Huhne, a member of the secret team, wrote a dissenting report to Clegg saying the Lib Dems would have to form a full-blown coalition with the Tories, and not prop up a minority government. He warned there was no precedent for a minority government delivering a fiscal consolidation, raising the prospect both parties would face a backlash. "Financial crises are catastrophic for the political parties that are blamed, and we should avoid this at all costs."
• George Osborne, who had long feared the Tories would struggle to win an overall parliamentary majority, persuaded David Cameron to allow him to form the Tories' own secret coalition negotiating team two weeks before the election. The Tory leader demanded total secrecy and asked only to be given the barest details for fear that he would blurt it out "unplanned in an interview".
• David Laws, a member of the secret Lib Dem negotiating team who briefly served in the cabinet, predicted on 24 February 2010 that the Tories would make a "very early offer of co-operation or coalition" in the event of a hung parliament. Laws told Wilson that he has a high regard for Osborne who tried to persuade him to join the Tories in 2006.
• Gordon Brown was so keen to form a coalition with the Lib Dems that on Monday 10 May, the day before his resignation, he offered to form "a completely new sort of government" in which Clegg would run EU policy. The Lib Dems understood they would take half of the seats in cabinet.

A Lib Dem spokesman said tonight: "These are selective extracts of documents which discussed a range of options ahead of any possible negotiations. As the Liberal Democrats made clear throughout the election and in negotiations, they had four key priorities which were set out on the front page of the manifesto. All of these priorities were agreed in the coalition document. The nature of the coalition agreement has meant we were able to set the foundations for a stable five-year government that will deliver many of the priorities the Liberal Democrats have long supported."

Clegg tried to downgrade the pledge to abolish tuition fees at the 2009 party conference, prompting a backlash from the left. A plan to abolish them over six years was included in the general election manifesto.

space

Our apartment is located on at the end of a corridor. The front door is on the right hand side of this corridor, whilst on the left hand side, there is another door which is the apartment next door. This apartment has been empty since we moved in. I think a few people have come and viewed it but as yet, no one has taken it. As a result, it's been quiet with no sound in the corridor or anything.

That though might be at an end.

Sound and movement has been detected from next door. I don't actually think anyone has moved in as yet but the maintenance guys have been in checking the lights and polishing the floors. When I came home yesterday the door was open and some people were definitely measuring something. I didn't get to see the people so I have no idea what nationality they are. Not that that really matters, so long as they don't bother me. Noise, I can do without. Particularly come the weekends when I would very much like to sleep. Let's see what happens on that front.

Shuttle

3 days off!

Next week!

Actually, it's Eid Al something...at the end of Ramadan, there is Eid something or other. Then 40 days after that, there is another Eid. This time, we are getting 3 days off in total - Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday which isn't all that shabby at all. It means we have this weekend off /Friday and Saturday/ then back to work on Sunday, then 3 days off, 1 day back, then a further 2 days off next weekend. Not bad, not bad. It might have been good to try and get away but it seems that every random and his dog travels and since it's holiday time, the prices shoot up as well.

In the early part of next month, we get a further couple of days off as well. National Day on the 2nd December then I think we have Islamic New Year on the 7th December. Mark that down as two 4 day working weeks. Then on the 13 December, it's the start of my own 2 weeks off. Just reading all that gives me a nice warm glow on the inside. It is funny that we go ages and ages with no public days or whatever, then they all come at the end of the year. Definitely can't complain. I do feel as if I'm losing my edge and a rest is required, even if it means going home to Scotland and feeling the cold chill of winter. Needs must and all that.

Entertain

The joys of teaching can be limited. At times, it's hard as anything. Unruly students. Student's who just don't want to work or study. Student's who just don't get it. Anything. These days I tend to only get students from the Indian sub-continent, Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh, sometimes Egypt. Let me say, they are distinctly different from Korean ones. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way. Just different. Mostly the Korean ones were at University and were in a 'learning' environment. Here though, the guys - and when I say 'guys', I totally mean men. 99% of the students I have are men - are at work and who, if they have a. the time, and b. the opportunity come to me.

Indeed, the guys who come to me, need to do well in order to be considered for a promotion or a parallel transfer to another job. I suppose that in itself adds additional amount of pressure. I do what I can and they do what they can. It grates at times. How many times can I really stand listening to the guys tell me that they wear 'bunions'. I had to look that up in a dictionary because my understanding if that word and their meaning of it is very different. They think it's a vest. I have no idea how or why they think that, but clearly it isn't. It's something else. Something sore. Plus, I'm getting very tired of people constantly using the default 'present continuous' tense for EVERYTHING. You can't use for it everything! "I am having 2 daughters". "Well, that's fantastic mate" is what I'm thinking when confronted with such a sentence. His meaning and my meaning though are, I suspect, very very different. Even one of my colleagues who is at the same level as me troubles me. He's Indian and he uses 'half sleeve' and 'half pant' for shirt sleeved shirt and shorts. Despair greets me frequently.

It must be a translation thing. It does my nut though and because they have used that tense forever, it is very difficult to unteach it.

Sometimes though I do get a bit of light relief. I had Maboobs in class a while back. Then a Baby Paul - yeah, that's his first name - and today a Karl Marx. This Karl Marx bloke was very nervous, very twitchy. I'm not surprised really, he's had a lot to think about during his life! I had to fail him though because his tenses weren't great at all. Perhaps another translation issue.

Aid

This arrived in my inbox the other day...shocking that my country people have experienced this!

MARYHILL HURRICANE APPEAL----PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY! 

Hurricane 'Senga' hit the Maryhill district of Glasgow in the early hours of yesterday morning. Victims were seen wandering round aimlessly muttering 'Pure mental, man no?

The hurricane decimated the area causing around £9,000 worth of improvements. Several priceless collections of momentos from Majorca and Seville where damaged beyond repair. Three historically burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were awoken well before their Giros arrived the next morning. Police state that instances of looting,muggings and car crime were particularly high during the night but calmed down when the hurricane struck.

Forty-two asylum seekers were rescued from an apartment in Elmbank Street, rescuers are going to search the second bedroom later today.

Radio Clyde has reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Maryhill.

One resident Bernadette O'Reilly, a 15 yr old mother of 5 said "It gied me a pure fright so's it did. My little Chardoney-Mercedes came running into my bedroom greetin'. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Natasha-Jordan-Jade slept through it all. Ah wiz still pure shaking when I was watching Trisha next morning so I wiz. Neighbour Joseph 'Young Young' Mcgurn said "The noise wiz tremendous-at first ah thoat it wiz the young team coming oot The Bugle Bar but it wiz even worser!

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bon Accord Pola Cola and two tons of Cheese Toasties to help stricken locals...

Rescue workers are still searching the rubble and have found quantities of personal belongings including Benefit books and bone China from Poundstretchers.

Residents in nearby Ruchill offered accommodation to those left homeless but the Maryhill people decided they were better off where they were..

A Council spokesman has said it take at least a full morning to get things looking better than normal and added "There has been a pur Blitz spirit, everybody's been pure Blitzed.

Poundstretcher has agreed to stay open 24 hrs a day to allow residents to refurbish their homes.
The Government has pledged to ensure that bookies, pubs, chip shops and other essentials services will reopen as soon as possible.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This Appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing most sought after includes FILA or BURBERRY CAPS, HOODIES, KAPPA TRACKSUITS (HIS and HERS), SHELLSUITS(FEMALE), WHITE SPORT SOCKS,ROCKPORT BOOTS or ADDIDAS TRAINERS.

Food parcels are also urgently required - please try to include

Microwave chips, Greggs Steakbakes-sausage rolls, Sugar Puffs, Tins of Spaghetti Hoops(or alphabet spaghetti so the young ones can still learn English during this hard time), Gypsy Creams, Curly Wurleys, Panda Cola, Cans of Diamond White and Cally Special Brew, bottles of El-D or Buckie, glue or Hairspray.

Just 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

£2 buys chips, crisps and Lidl Irn-Bru for a family of 9.

£3 will pay for a pouch of baccy papers and a lighter to calm the nerves of those most affected.

*Breaking news*

Rescue workers have found a ten-year-old-girl. Apparently she was smothered in Rasberry alco-pop.  When Shakira-Brittany-Goldigga Mcdonald was asked where she was bleeding from she replied "Craigmont Avenue, whits it goat tae dae wi' you ya Fudd?"

Classic!

avocado

After 9 months, it's finally arrived. It happened it February and now, come the first week of November, it's here. Yes, it's a thing called rain. Yes, that stuff that falls from the sky when it gets cloudy. Yes, this isn't exactly 'news' as everywhere gets rain. But, this is Dubai and Dubai isn't exactly a normal place.

As I was leaving work, there was a great big black cloud heading in from the desert. I initially just though that it was a sand storm of sorts but this cloud kept coming. Finally, a small spatter of rain did fall. It wasn't really much at all. It was enough to get the ground wet but nothing more. I was standing on the balcony watching it. It was funny to see the people outside on the road covering their heads and running to avoid it. In Scotland such a pitiful amount of rain wouldn't be a hinderance to anyone, but here people where running!

Seemingly, other areas of Dubai did get more rain than we did. Not a massive amount but certainly a downpour. I guess that means that Winter is officially here. It's strange to say that given that I'm still wearing shorts and t-shirt everyday and that it's still high 20's, low 30's during the day. A bit more rain would be welcome however, if only to clean the streets. In fact, can it please rain heaps and heaps when I'm away on holiday in mid December. That would be ideal, thanks.

Candid

1st November. Already. And with it, the clocks go back in the U.K. Of course, that shouldn't really worry me at all since I don't live in the U.K. But, it does. In the 'summer' months, the time difference is only 3 hours which really isn't all that much at all. An extra hour on top of that does.

Take the football on a Saturday. It generally kicks off at 3pm in the U.K. which means 6pm here. Perfect. Sometimes the early games are on mid-afternoon on the TV which is a bonus. But, the addition of another hour pushes that all back so that games don't finish until 9pm over here. Again, this might not seem too much of an issue but it is. Believe me.

Not only that, but when it comes to midweek games, there is no chance of staying up to catch them. Actually, even if it was only 3 hours, I wouldn't really stay up to watch.

Of course, I should mention that it means that it is a bit more difficult to find a convenient time to chat to people back home!

Priorities and all that...honest.