blank

page was all the rage.

Corn

So, there is this tree in this forest in the middle of nowhere. It is completely surrounded by other trees and other plant life and the usual 'things' that are found in a forest. No people.

The tree then falls. I have no idea why because I'm not there. The eternal question. Does it make a sound if no-one is present?

My 1st thought is that 'yes' it must. I mean, why wouldn't it? But then I thought, 'well, i'm not sure'.

A 'sound' is something that is heard by us due to the vibrations of the air. These vibrations are then transmitted to our ears. The signal is the interpreted by our brain which we recognise as 'sound'. So, if there is no-one there, then it can't make a sound because there is no-one there to interprete the vibrations of the air. Sure, the tree falling will make a noise because the falling action will cause the air to vibrate which is the 1st stage of a sound but it will not become a sound because there is no way of converting the vibration into something. I guess you could record it using a tape or something but then again, the recording remains only noise until it is heard but some at which point it becomes a sound.
And that is it...you will never really know.
Really know unless you are there.
Really know until it occurs.
2006. You never really know until it occurs.
happy new year.

aBoy

Minds wander and attention spans drift. What if that happened or if i'd said no to that or agreed to say this. Reflections on the year are almost here. Perhaps it's 'natural' to look back on events. It's almost like a learning aid. I did this and that happened. Cause and effect? Of course, one could 'learn' and continue to learn from past events or one could actually get stuck on a particular event or events without learning anything from them and not allowing the event to pass.

I'm usually found in both camps. Before, I could be found in the 'stuck' camp but migration into the other camp comes with experience and age. These days, their is no real sense i'm spending time contemplating the if's and but's. When your 17 or 18 or similiar, decisions were made that did have large ramifications - University, moving out et al - but then you get to the point in which the big decisions have been made and all that you are doing is continuing with them. Example=teaching. Big decsion. 2005 was a contination of that, so I can have no real complaints. No if's or but's. And that is fine. Yet, if teaching is the bricks, it's the mortar that i'm still in need of. The bits to fill in the bigger bits. And that's the hard part. That continues.

So then...the review of the year. That's not going to happen. The review of the year is every entry that is made. I can't cram 365 days of feeling, emotion, events, actions into a paragraph. Can anyone?

Dare

Have been making a concerted effort into studying Korean recently. I have been feeling quite 'into' recently because the stuff that I have been studying has been sticking. Admittedly, it's most been nouns and other small items of vocabularly, but one needs to start with such building blocks instead of being pitched straight into phrases and extented conversations which I may or may not have any understanding of.

It is noticable that my 'method' of learning is very much down to confidence.

If I'm feeling good, then 'it' happens but if I'm not, then it doesn't. Take the past few days. I've been doing well /relatively speaking/ and I have been enjoying it but then I went to the hairdressers as I do. I can get buy whilst in there, well, I can get a haircut anyway but then one of the hairdressers' starts talking to me. It is at this point that all my work and confidence goes to pieces because I can't actually understand what she is trying to tell me. Of course, it happens and I should expect little episodes like that but it doesn't make it any easier to take my complete incompetence. It's both frustrating and demoralising.

2 ways to deal with it. 1=make it inspire and2= lose interest.

Which leads me back to the 'confidence' thing.

Box

This damn American colleague continues to send E-mails like the are going out of fashion. This time outlining the Univeristy policy for x/y/z/. If she was just to report the facts, then perhaps I could be tolerant however she sends them all coloured up. It's enough to give me a migraine. Had an interesting conversation with another colleague about her. He's also an unhappy bunny. He was questioning her and asking who made her 'headteacher'. He's got a point. As my colleague points out, she's only been here a year and doesn't posses any TESOL Certfication yet she is the self-appointed spokesperson for us and has recommended a 'crap' textbook for next semesters 1st year English program. Anyway, I didn't bit and just deleted the E-mails without thought, care or even a raised pulse level. My new found maturity.haha...Perhaps, it's just because I couldn't give a flying f______K - until closer to next semester, that is.

Boots

It's amazing what a bit of downloading does for one's mood. If it doesn't download fast enough, it's a problem but if it flies, then we have liftoff.

Today...we have both!

Music, only though. And a rather fine selection if I do say so myself. Have been trying to get hold of a DFA Compliation # 1and2 without much success. It's on of these complications that you only hear about after the event. No chance of getting in Korea and I'm wondering what are the chances of getting it back home. Perhaps. Although there was another complication, 'Headz 2, A and B' on Mo'Wax that has caused problems. I managed to get hold of B...a journey through 'hip-hop' that I had never heard before and a blast of some rather tasty drum and bass. However, I have never managed to get hold of A. And haven't even come across 'Headz 1'. So, my dilema. It seems that both compliations are not currently downloadable. Some of the individual tracks are...but trying to get a complete set. Hmm.

Elsewhere, I somehow managed to get some random electronica containing 'stuff' i've never heard before and 'stuff' which I've kind of heard like a magical 12 minute version of Goralliz 'Dare' remixed by DFA. The first 6 minutes are Damon and Shaun Ryder doing there 'it's dare...' thing. The last 6 minutes though is just pulsing noise in a way that only remixes can get away with. If only more artists took a chance instead of leaving it to the remixers. It could be a good Christmas after all.

Maker

The 25th December. Perhaps I should get all emotional and philosphical because it's that time of the year. It seems we all need to be best mates for exactly 24 hours. Haha. And then we snap out of it for another 364 days. Such false dawns.

Korea being Korea was suspiciously like the Korea of the 24th..the 23rd...the 22nd. Nothing altered. The same. Strangely, I wonder if anything changed anywhere else? Perhaps but I'm not sure we have those kinds of detectors to measure such changes.

Either way, christmas came and went in a very 'normal' manner. It was Sunday. The traffic was bad. The shops were open. The delivery men delievered. The sun shone. The wind blew and the next door neighbours dog barked way too long. In essence, any given Sunday minus the hangover and for that, I am thankful. Didn't even bother going to Church. That is how good a Christian I am. Didn't even give it a thought. The birth of a kid to some women who didn't even do the 'deed'. A miracle. To some.

Instead, I thought about how fat I had been the previous day. I thought about how long it would take me to demolish that box of 'Marks and Spencers' Chocolate biscuit selection. I thought being at home in Edinburgh being hungry and bored and waiting for dinner but looking forward to one of the envitable Connery Bond movies, hoping that it was either Goldfinger, Thunderball or You only live twice. I thought about all the excess that I would have indulged in and then I thought about my best mates and what they would be doing. Some at home, some on holiday but most importantly, not here. And then I wondered if this was 'actually' home or merely a stopping off place to somewhere else. I think I decided that it was. And on and on and on and on and on and onandon andon and on.